horror books shadows trees dark faded photograph.jpg

Memories Held in Skin

Riley gave herself a moment to gain her bearings. The difference from stepping into the club from the street was disorienting. Lights thrummed in time to pulsating music, and the wall of heat hit her after being in the cold street. She flashed her driver’s license at the bouncer.

She stepped past the line of people entering and glanced at the gleaming hardwood that reflected dancing bodies and lights back at her. The air was heavy with the smell of perfumes, colognes and sweat. Human smells. For a moment, she felt overwhelmed. Her eyes flicked to the bar, where it was mostly empty. She bee-lined for the bartender.

Riley handed her card over to start a tab, ordered three shots of whatever the human bartender thought she’d like best, and knocked them back. She leaned her back against the bar, ignoring the surprise and judgy glance from the server. She could be a part time alcoholic any time she wanted to, and, besides, it would take a lot to even get her buzzed.

She studied the crowd in growing disappointment. There was no sign of this supposed blind date Jasper had set up. She could only see humans, and she doubted there would be any human worth serious attention that would be interested in the same thing she would be. She turned her back to the people enjoying themselves so her jealousy could stare at her cup and not be so noticeable. She sipped the mixed drink the bartender set in front of her, waiting for her friend to join her.

Riley didn’t have to wait long until she felt him walk into the building. It was an unmistakable aura, unmistakable power, unmistakable scent. “Goddamn.” Jasper didn’t bother yelling over the music. He knew she’d be able to hear him. He sat in the stool beside her. He motioned to the bartender who approached after a moment’s hesitation. Jasper ordered his drink and put it on her tab. It was her turn to pick up their drinks. He turned his attention to her. “I sent you out to have a good time, not to become an advertisement for the AA.”

Riley shrugged. “I was thinking about leaving.”

“And stand your date up?”

“All I see are humans. They aren’t usually up to dating Thera.”

“Oh? I never have a problem.”

Riley arched an eyebrow and smiled over at him. “Yeah. The fangs, claws and horns aren’t deterrents.”

“You just have to find the right crowd.”

“Eh, not into Thera-chasers.”

Jasper winked an eye. “They serve a purpose.”

“Not mine.”

He grinned, fangs resting prominently against his maw. “See that’s your problem. You have standards. Rookie mistake.”

Riley rolled her eyes and gave him a light shove. Despite his frail appearance, like a wisp of a creature to fly away at the first gust of wind that took a fancy, there was solidness to his body that revealed his hidden strength. “What kind of wingman are you?”

“I’m a damn good one.” Jasper finished his drink and stood on tall haunches, stretching chest and shoulders taller than her. His tail wrapped around his leg to keep from tripping anyone. He winked his golden eye once more. “She’s here. Back corner, to the right. Your type, and, no, she’s not a Thera-chaser. You’ll know her when you see her.”

“And how would you know that?”

For once his expression was serious. “Because I invited her. I don’t make mistakes.”

Riley couldn’t help the warmth in her cheeks, and very little came from the alcohol she’d drank. She’d tried to get some liquid courage up, but she was not the one that typically made the first move.

He placed a hand on her shoulder. “You deserve to be happy, wolf. We talked about this. It’s been a month since you left that pack. Live a little.” He glanced around. “Now, I need to get some food. I may or may not see you at the apartment tonight, depending on how both our nights go.”

Her cheeks warmed further. She did not need to ask what the incubus meant by food. She watched Jasper walk away and up the stairs to the second floor of the club.

Riley stood there for a moment longer, debating with herself. At the moment, her couch and Netflix account seemed so much more enticing than forced civility with a human she did not know, and she’d do anything to get out of the tight red strapless dress she wore.

Well, almost anything.

Live a little, he says, she thought. It’ll be fun, he says.

“Well, fuck.” The word was said with feeling as she made her way away from the bar. The back of the room was obscured by dancing bodies, but she was aware of the direction Jasper had pointed. She weaved through the crowd, and it wasn’t difficult as the humans recognized her for what she was and nearly stumbled in their hurry to get out of her way.

The familiar scent hit Riley before she saw her. Warm. Flowery. It brought memories from those years, those simpler times, those less dangerous times. Riley paused, her sharp eyesight catching a glimpse of who sat in the back corner at the otherwise empty booth.

The sight made her freeze, quickening her heart before she could control it. The music that squeezed the air around her now seemed so far away. Her skin was hot.

Josie.

How long had it been? Three years, since she’d been attacked. For a moment, she was that young, naive girl, confused and swept up in that familiar and exciting love. Then, the feeling left her and panic set in. She blinked, looking around her. No one had noticed the momentary pause. She could leave, pretend she’d never seen the girl.

As if sensing her gaze, Josie’s eyes flicked up from her phone and their eyes met. Riley backed up and turned to leave.

“Oh my God.” Riley’s sharp hearing caught her sudden intake of breath even over the ear-achingly loud music. “Riley?”

Riley quickened her pace, trying to get out of the building. Fuck. My card. I have to close my tab.

“Riley!”

Fuck the card. I’ll come back for it.

“Riley! Stop! It’s me! Oh my God, I can’t believe it! What happened? What—”

She was practically jogging now, weaving through the large, dancing crowd.

“Riley!”

Despite herself, she paused when Josie yelled. Josie’s fingertips grazed against her forearm. “Riley, I can’t believe this. I—” Josie’s voice trailed off as Riley turned to face her, the words dying as she saw Riley’s eyes refract the lights from the club, glinting as if animal.

“You’re a Thera.”

Hot tears brimmed in Riley’s eyes, but they didn’t spill. She shrugged away from Josie and shoved her way through the crowd and out onto the street.

“Wait!” Josie’s voice was shrill. “Wait. Hang on. It doesn’t matter. Can we talk? Please?”

Riley considered running. It wouldn’t be hard for her to lose the human in the night crowd, but Josie’s scent tugged at her. Clung to her. All the memories she’d spent the last three years forgetting had caught up with her. She stopped at the end of the sidewalk where the people had thinned. She buried her face into her hands.

“Riley?” Her name came out small and questioning. Josie was out of breath. Riley looked out between her fingertips. Josie had stopped within touching distance, a hand held out but hesitant. There was a moment of silence before she touched her forearm. Her skin was warm, her fingertips soft. Josie had a gentle hold on each of her forearms and slowly pushed her hands down so that her face wasn’t covered.

“Josie.”

A few tears traced their way down Josie’s face. “I can’t believe it,” she whispered. Her expression was stuck somewhere between pain and happiness. “It’s been so long. Why did you run from me?” Her voice softened. “What happened?”

Riley blinked so that the tears wouldn’t break free. “Not here.” Her voice was thick. She cleared her throat. “Let’s go get something to eat?”

Josie nodded and let go of her arms. Riley hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to say. She studied the woman’s expression before she looked away and started to walk forward. Josie fell into step beside her and they walked in silence.

“I think the only thing open at this time is McDonalds.” Josie gave a nervous laugh. Riley nodded and didn’t speak. Her heart was in her throat, setting up residence and making it difficult to swallow. After a moment’s hesitation, Josie touched her fingertips gently against Riley’s hand. When Riley didn't react, she looped her fingers through. After a moment, Riley closed her hand, giving her fingers a soft squeeze.

Riley still didn’t speak. Josie’s hand had a weight of familiarity. Her skin held memories. There was a slow patience in the way she held her hand. There had always been a slow patience in Josie. Where Riley was raw emotions strung up on livewires, Josie was the eye of that squall—calm to her chaos.

Those five years had been the best of my life, she thought. Five years she’d had Josie as her anchor. Five years—for all of it to be stripped away in one brutal, life-ending moment. Things are different now, she thought to herself. She spared half a glance at the shorter woman who walked beside her. In those years, she’d changed too. And now, after last month…she was free. Thanks to Jasper.

Jasper. He knew. There was no way he didn’t. How, she was not sure. She never spoke of her past prior to the attack, but the incubus didn’t work in coincidences. Riley tried to swallow past the lump in her throat. She functioned on autopilot as they stepped into the McDonalds and ordered. Everything seemed far away as she waded through old memories—both good and terrible—and fresh anxieties. What if she doesn’t associate with Thera? Rationally, she knew better. Not only would Jasper have not set this up, but she knew Josie, and it had never mattered to her. What if she doesn’t understand or forgive me for disappearing? That was a much more logical issue. Can we start over…should we start over?

The last thought. Do I want to? Riley paid the cashier cash since she’d left her card at the bar. Somewhere between the moment she’d seen Josie and the moment she’d held her hand, Riley realized that yes, she would do anything to have what she had with her back again. To build something that she could just call hers now that she’d escaped her pack. She would not have to share this, not have to share herself, any longer.

They grabbed their hot fudge sundaes and sat at the table furthest in the back. As late as it was, the restaurant was empty except for them and the employees, and Riley was glad for the privacy. This was not going to be a pleasant conversation at times. She did not want to relive the attack, relive her trauma, but she knew there was no choice.

Riley slid into the booth and Josie sat in front of her. They ate in silence for a moment. Riley could hear the quick patter of Josie’s heart, a nervous flutter. The smell of anxiety and clean sweat and Josie’s perfume was almost a comfort for her. Josie tucked a short strand of her blond pixie cut behind her ear.

“Are you going to say anything?” Josie asked after another moment of silence.

“How do you know Jasper?”

“The incubus? He introduced himself at the coffee shop I work at, a couple weeks ago.” Josie shook her head, her green eyes narrowed. There was the faintest glimmer of frustration in her expression. “Riley. It’s been three years. You just—” Josie hesitated before deciding on the word “—disappeared. No warning. No notes. One evening you went for a run and you just never came back. You left everything behind.” She paused. “You left me behind.”

“No.” Riley sighed. She pushed her fingers through her long, thick auburn hair. How do I explain this? “I never just disappeared. Never willingly. I never wanted to leave, and I never, ever wanted to leave you. You don’t know how much I wanted to come home, how much I thought about you every goddamn day. That night, during my run, I was attacked. There was a werewolf pack doing a run, and I got in the way.”

“Werewolves.” She paused at the word, but didn’t have to ask more. The word told its own story. “I would have helped. I would have stayed with you, Thera or not.”

Riley gave a small, bitter laugh. “I know that, Josie, but it wasn’t safe. The pack leader—she was terrifying. She threatened that she would murder everyone I held dear if I did not run with them. Because of how brutal my attack was, I am very powerful. I was one of her enforcers. Her third in command. They didn’t even take me to the hospital after it happened.” Her voice shook at the edges of memories she struggled to get beyond her thoughts. “I had to heal on my own, and go through all the changes on my own. I was scared. I was hurting. I was trying to protect you and everyone I loved. Trust me when I say her threats were not idle. I saw what she did to those who did not listen.”

“Oh my God.” She reached out and put a soft grasp on her hand. “Riley. I had no idea.”

“I convinced myself that you, my family, my friends—” she sighed. “I convinced myself that you wouldn’t want anything to do with me as a Thera, because otherwise it hurt too much to think about what I’d lost, and I didn’t want to be a burden.”

“I’m so sorry you’ve been alone for so long. We never stopped looking. Never.”

“We?”

“Your parents and I.”

“My parents? Wait, my parents and you? But…”

“Your choices in partners were less important when the bigger picture came into focus, Riley.”

She gave a bitter laugh. “My parents won’t want to have anything to do with me as I am now. They can’t stand Thera.”

“You don’t think we didn’t consider this a possibility? Your parents have grown. They love me. I have become a part of their family and I have taught them a lot of stuff. You’ll be surprised when you see them again…” Josie hesitated “...if you want to see them again. They are going to be happy to just know their daughter is alive.”

“What about you?” The sentence was a whisper.

Josie gave her a lopsided smile. “I’ve never had problems with Thera. You know that. I’m just happy you’re here, with me.”

“Jasper knew. I know he did. He set this up. I don’t know how he found out.”

“He’s been coming to the coffee shop several times a day. At first I thought he was going to try to hit on me and I was going to politely tell him that he didn't identify as the correct gender for my tastes, but he surprised me by telling me that he had a friend, apparently you, that he thought I would really like. He told me you were a Thera and that you’d just got out of a bad situation. He said that I seemed like a nice girl that would show you kindness and a good time, and at the very least would make a good friend for you if it didn’t go anywhere. It was such a strange way to ask someone out for someone that it surprised me and I agreed to it. I’ve not dated anyone ever in these three years. This was literally going to be the first date since you left.”

“Leslie didn’t allow any dating in the pack,” Riley said. “All relations stayed in the pack, and everything was shared in the pack. Not everything had to be consensual. I’ll leave you to your imagination.”

A flicker of anger and disgust ghosted Josie’s expression before she replaced it with sympathy. “Goddamn. I’m so sorry, Riley. Whatever you need, I’m going to be here for you. I’m going to help you get through this. In whatever manner you want me as.”

She caught the strange wording of the last sentence. “What do you mean?”

“If you want to just be friends, I can be that.”

“What if I don’t want to be just friends?”

Josie smiled at that. “I can be that too.”

“So this ‘blind date’ that Jasper set us up on? Is it?

“Is it what?”

Riley hesitated. “Is it a date?”

Josie squeezed the hand she held. “It’s more than a date.” She stood and tugged Riley up. “Come home with me?”

Riley nodded, a warmth in her chest. Tears itched at the corners of her eyes. She stepped closer to Josie and put a hesitant hand around her waist and forehead against hers. “I would like that. A lot.” She hesitated once more before she brushed a kiss against Josie’s lips. The body she held stilled, her breath catching in her chest, before she fell into the kiss and they were wrapped up in the sensation.

Riley was laughing when they broke away. “How romantic, our first new kiss in a McDonalds.” She held Josie’s hand and they walked out.

“You said something about your pack,” the word was clumsy on Josie’s lips, “that they were frightening. Where are they now?”

“I’ve been trying to escape them for over a year,” Riley answered. “I met Jasper a few years back, and he helped me get on my feet. He helped me squirrel away money and got me a job as a Thera liaison for the local courthouse. He rented an apartment and I’m his roommate. He helped me get my own bank account. He also helped me file a restraining order with the police and found a witch to set up warding spells around me to protect me.” Riley shrugged. “I asked the witch to set up warding spells around you and my parents without notifying you or anyone else and she did it free of charge.”

“So I have a warding spell?”

“You do. So do Mom and Dad. I tried to protect you.” She took a deep breath. “Last Friday was my thirty day anniversary since I ran off.”

“That’s amazing. You’re amazing. He’s amazing.”

“I owe him my life. Literally.” There were unspoken stories in the sentence, but Josie didn’t press as they walked. She leaned her shoulder in against Riley. The path they walked navigated away from downtown and toward the string of apartments, townhouses and older homes that had been turned into rentals.

“How long have you been here, in this city, I mean?” Josie pointed to the vague direction of her home and they made their way. “I’ve lived here for years, and I’ve never seen you.”

“Jasper moved us here after Friday. We’re settling in.” Did he move us here just because of Josie? It was a question she was going to ask the incubus.

“I bet he makes a great roommate.”

“He…” her voice trailed off. Something’s wrong, she thought. She caught the faintest sound of quiet footsteps behind them. A light, sharp smell of magic and malice permeated the air.

Riley shoved Josie behind her and guarded her with her body. A growl lined her voice, the sound deep and inhuman coming from a very human throat. “Who the fuck is out there?”

Laughter met the question and the Thera stepped out of the shadow that had been empty a moment before. Tall and rail thin, Riley could tell it was male, and he wore a thick trench coat and wide-brimmed hat. “You have a human plaything. They’re so fun, until they break.” He smiled, the smile widening to almost comical lengths, and then to impossible lengths. His face split to encompass a mouth that gaped to show rows and rows of jagged teeth. A long tongue flicked out. Josie gasped behind her.

“Back off, Slender. I don’t want to hurt you,” Riley said. She kept her voice calm as her power built in her aura.

“Leslie wants her bitch back. Be a good dog and come quietly and I will eat the girl quickly.”

The situation was quickly changing, and Josie trembled behind her. She was not going to wait to see if the Thera was merely threatening. If Leslie had sent him, she knew he was not. Riley crouched, muscles coiled in otherworldly strength as the aura that marked her as Thera broke through, stripping away any illusion that helped her pass as human. Bones rippled in her body, shifting and contorting. Breaking and lengthening. It was an old pain, but one that she would never fully get used to.

Josie gave a startled cry as Riley’s body ripped through her dress, skin giving way to fur, nails to claws. A snarl crawled its way out of her throat as she knelt on fours, claws scouring the concrete sidewalk. She didn’t hesitate, didn’t wait to see if the Thera would be true to his word. She lept in a single, fluid movement. He barely dodged claws that were meant for his throat. He took his hands out of his pockets and shoved a knife into her stomach.

Silver. She staggered but didn’t fall, jerking away so that he lost his grip on the weapon and it stayed lodged in her abdomen. She reached for him and he took the opportunity to bite her forearm. Hot and immediate pain lanced in red, but he didn’t let go. Riley fished her fingers through the gaps of his teeth and leveraged his mouth open, ignoring the deep cuts her fingers were rewarded for their efforts.

She smashed his face into the ground. Before he could recover, she gripped his chin with her other hand. He struggled against her grip, but she braced herself and pulled apart. A sickly pop echoed around her as his jaw cracked and she ripped the bottom jaw away from his body.

Riley didn’t hesitate, burying her maw into his throat, clamping hard against his esophagus and crushing. She didn’t let go until he stopped moving. She threw the body down, breathing hard and growling. She resisted the urge to howl. After a moment to collect herself, she looked around.

Josie was gone.

And why wouldn’t she be? Tears blurred her vision, falling and wetting her fur. I can’t imagine what that was like to watch. God, I’m just a monster.

“Riley!” Jasper’s voice was sharp and worried, he was hurrying down the path, Josie close behind. “Are you okay?”

Riley was acutely aware of the blood matting the fur of her muzzle and body. “Leslie sent him.” She motioned to the mangled dead Thera. “I had no choice.”

“We’ll take care of it. I’ll call the help. She'll get it cleaned up. No one needs to know.” He frowned. “Leslie has made a mistake and involved us by including others in her pack drama and disobeying direct orders. On one hand, I've been hoping she’d do this, because now my hands aren't tied. On the other hand, I didn't realize she would endanger others outside her pack.”

“Involved you?” Josie asked.

Jasper smiled and the smile wasn't pleasant. “It won't be long before Riley won't have anything to worry about.” The incubus studied Riley, and his eyes caught the knife hilt in her abdomen. “You’re hurt.”

Riley shrugged. The bite was healing slowly, but the knife tugged and hurt. “I’ll heal it. I need to remove it though. I wouldn't mind some bandages when I do. Maybe I should go home?”

Jasper looked at Josie. “Thank you for calling me. I need to make sure our apartment isn’t compromised. She may not be safe to come home yet. Can she stay at your place? I’ll put wards up before I leave. Give me your address, and I’ll check it out before you get there.”

Josie immediately nodded. “That’s where we were headed.”

“Is it secluded?”

“Secluded enough. I rent a house.”

“We could sneak a werewolf in without others noticing? She shouldn’t shift until she’s safe.”

“I mean, it’s one in the morning. I think we’ll be fine.”

“No, guys.” They paused and looked at her. She growled, clearing her throat. “Josie doesn’t have to do this. I don’t want to put her out.”

“Riley. It’s okay. You need somewhere safe. I can give that to you.” She nodded to Jasper. She told him her address. “You need my key? We’ll be there in about ten minutes.”

“I never need a key.” He winked. He glanced at Riley. “Let Josie be a part of your life, wolf. The incubus won’t lie to you. I know she wants to be.” He disappeared in a blink of black shadows before she could say anything, leaving an awkward silence between her and Josie.

After a moment, Riley lowered to her fours and started to walk in the direction that Josie had pointed earlier. Her paws left prints of blood behind. Josie walked beside her. “How?”

Josie blinked. “How what?”

“How can you look at me after what I just did?”

“You were protecting yourself and you were protecting me. I didn’t imagine that you turned into a fluffy bunny, Riley.”

Despite herself, she growled a laugh.

“You’re a hell of a fighter though.”

“I told you. I was Leslie’s enforcer. Her muscle. She apparently really doesn’t want to let me go. She needs to send something bigger than a Slender though. I’m almost insulted that she thought it could take me down.”

“Well, I'm glad. What does Jasper mean when he says ‘we’ll take care of it’?”

“He’s part of a society that protects innocent Thera that get caught up in bullshit like this that have to defend themselves. Human laws don’t quite align with the culture of the Thera world, Josie, and if you’re going to stay with me, you’ll learn that. He keeps that underbelly quiet. There’s humans part of that society too. They offer protection. He’s the leader for this area. That’s all I’m going to tell you, but if you’re interested, maybe talk to him. They’re always looking to up the numbers.” Riley shrugged. “He’s practically begging me to join.”

Josie hummed, and she could tell she was lost in thought. Riley let the silence stand. After a moment of hesitation, Josie placed a gentle hand on her flank, looping fingers through her fur. The ease of touch surprised Riley. She’d never been touched in a kind way when she was a wolf, and the simple act of kindness was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

“I was so scared when you were stabbed,” Josie said.

“It takes a lot to take me down. Hell, it wasn’t even enchanted.” Riley nudged her head against Josie’s shoulder, surprised at how easy the attention was becoming.

Together, she and the human walked in the park, a house coming into view. There was a calm comfort in Riley now, despite the injuries that had not yet healed, despite the blood that was drying in her fur. Josie was the calm to her squall, and the hand that looped through her fur held memories she was ready to reclaim.

It was the first time she realized what freedom truly meant. A life. A life she decided. A life of good, bad, beautiful and ugly. Riley smiled a smile that glimpsed fangs in a monster’s maw. She was ready to make new memories.